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VIZ MAGAZINE
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"SAY IT WITH PIES" AD
Valentines special box set for pie and pasty lovers. VIZ ISSUE 256, MARCH 2017

"TRADITIONAL BRITISH CHRISTMAS MARKET" All your favourites in a winter wonderland setting... betting, supa booze, e-cigs, jop centre+, the samaritans..
VIZ ISSUE 261, DEC 2016- JAN 2017

 
 

 

"HI-VIS LAND"
Experience the wonderful world of health and safety...
VIZ ISSUE 260, NOV 2016

 

 

 
 

"LEYTON ORIENT EXPRESS AD"
Take the fabled train to the Essex Riviera, feel the wind through your hair aboard the last surviving Football special, The Fighting Scotsman
VIZ ISSUE 256, JULY 2016

 

"BEGGAR MILLIONAIRE STORY"
Generic Daily Mail / Express story that ended up in The Viz...
VIZ ISSUE 255, MAY 2016

 
 

"99POUNDWORLD AD"
Life's little essentials for the mega-rich - don't ask the price as that would be far too vulgar!
VIZ ISSUE 255, MAY 2016

 

"STAR WARS MOBILITY WORLD"
These are the mobility aids you are looking for... From Jabba the Hutt bathlifts to light saber handrails....
VIZ ISSUE 252, FEB 2016

 
 

"UK ROADWATCH with GEORGE MICHAEL"
Keep up to date where the traffic jams will be, by knowing where George Michael will be driving...
VIZ ISSUE 249, OCT 201
5

 

"COMPO-4-KIDS AD"
Retrospective claims for pupils who had a blackboard duster thrown at them during double chemistry in 1972...
VIZ ISSUE 248, SEP 2015

 
 


"PLEBWORLD THEME PARK"
Non-industrial theme park for politicians to discover the non-expenses world of the average voter.
VIZ ISSUE 247, AUG 2015

 


"MOPSEAL EXTERIOR HAIR PAINT"
Macca's own brand - guaranteed never to run at the Grammys.
VIZ ISSUE 245, MAY 2015

 
 


SMALLEST FOLDAWAY SCOOTER EVER? Fits in your ear every time...
VIZ ISSUE 244, APRIL 2015

 

"FLYTIPPING HOLIDAY AD"
Spring clean in 2015 with NimbuHOlS4U - get rid of those white goods down a lovely country lane."
VIZ ISSUE 242, FEB 2015

 
 


PPI RECALL RIP-OFF AD
Want to be ripped off again? Apply here...
VIZ ISSUE 240, NOV 2015
 

"FARAGE DEMANDS RETURN OF GOOD OLD BRITISH DINNER"
No vegan medleys, no gluhwein, and soggy sprouts to be mandatory."
VIZ ISSUE 241, DEC 14-JAN 2015



"I NEVER REALLY KNEW SIR JIMMY" COMMEMORATIVE PLATE
Charming 'collective amnesia remembrance montage-homage' of Sir Jimmy with his former friends.
VIZ ISSUE 238, SEP 2014

 


YORKSHIRE SAMARITANS AD Blunt, and to the point advice every time from this unique helpline from Grimethorpewick...
VIZ ISSUE 238, SEP 2014




BIGGS PLANS NEW BLAG IN HEAVEN
Top lag plans next caper with other dead train robbers after nicking St.Peter's keys.
VIZ ISSUE 237, AUG 2014

 


IT HAPPENED IN... AUGUST
Bits and pieces of nonsense for Viz calendar diary...
VIZ ISSUE 237, AUG 2014

 
 


FLAT ROOF PUB AD
X-factor star Chico clears up any confusion for his fans...
VIZ ISSUE 236, JUNE/JULY 2014

 

PIPPA'S ARSE'S GUIDE TO THE WORLD CUP
Spoof of her Vanity Fair pieces, or was it Vogue?
VIZ ISSUE 236, JUNE/JULY 2014

 
 

 

TEA TOWEL WORLD AD
The UK's only 8 floor emporium, a potwashers dream day out...
VIZ ISSUE 235 MAY 2014

 


L.S.D. CARPETS AD
Warning, one of these crazy designs, 'moves'.
VIZ ISSUE 236, JUNE/JULY 2014

 
 

MANCHESTER SHIT CANAL AD Cruise through 35 miles of the most uncompromisingly brutal post-apocalyptic industrial landscape.
VIZ ISSUE 234, APRIL 2014

 


KANYE WEST DELIVERY FURY
Rap star in washing machine delivery mix up tragedy.
VIZ ISSUE 235, MAY 2014

 
 

IT'S HERITAGE WAR! Jeremy Bowen reports live from the frontline near Holmfirth, after Herriot Country invades tiny neighbour, Last of the Summer Wineland.
VIZ ISSUE 231, XMAS 2013

 

PETE DOHERTY: 'I'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR 2 YEARS'
P. Doh confesses he has an new addiction - spring cleaning.
VIZ ISSUE 231, XMAS 2013

 
 


TOP PRICE FAKE LONDON HOTEL DEALS
For those who think Luton is a suburb of the capital.
VIZ ISSUE 228, SEP 2013

 

NONCE TOUR COVER DIRECT
Comprehensive insurance for anyone buying tickets to see a '70's era star.'
VIZ ISSUE 228, SEP 2014

 
 


CHICO CALLS TIME ON CHICO TIME
X-factor star Chico clears up any confusion for his fans...
VIZ ISSUE 227, AUG 2013

 


MORRISSEYWORLD AD
Contemptuously glib summer theme park solutions...
VIZ ISSUE 226, JUNE/JULY 2013

 
 


PUB CANNABIS FACTORY
Why not set up a pop-up pot pub? Now.
VIZ ISSUE 224, APRIL 2013

 


PHIL COLLINS RESURFACES
and reminds us all who he is...
VIZ ISSUE 224, APRIL 2013

 
 


MEAT DNA TESTER
Peace of mind at last with this simple to use home kit...
VIZ ISSUE 224, APRIL 2013

 


GASH CONVERTERS ADVERT
Revagination for the nation - on the High Street now...
VIZ ISSUE 221, XMAS 2012

 
 

PARKY CHAT SHOW INSURANCE
Chat show King Michael Parky invites you to take out the kind of chat show cover that you can't get for less at 3.27 on a Thursday afternoon.
VIZ ISSUE 220, NOVEMBER 2012

 

BECOME A SLUM LANDLORD! Break into the no.1 franchise sector for growth in the UK - making money out of the weak and vulnerable! Includes beds for sheds.
VIZ ISSUE 219, OCTOBER 2012

 
 

GRUMPY QUEEN DIAMOND JUBILEE COIN. Celebrating 60 years of increasing snappiness. 'Official' coin by esteemed Italian designer Fabio Schittino.
VIZ ISSUE 216, JUNE 2012

 

INDOOR SKYDIVING AD
Parachuting indoors for birthdays, anniversaries, corporate bonding or stags.
VIZ ISSUE 212, FEB 2012

 
 


DISCREET NotW FILTH LINES
At busy times, certain girls waiting to take your call may not be former News of the World editors.
VIZ ISSUE 208, SEP 2011

 

INSURANCE-SCAMMERS 4U
Will I be paid 100% of the compensation? Yes, if you have rear-ended the car in front of you at the roundabout.
VIZ ISSUE 208, SEP 2011

 
 


TRACKSUIT 4 LIFE
Is this the most durable tracksuit ever?

VIZ ISSUE 207, AUG 2011

 

UNIQUE MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS
Incorporates a speak-your-weight voice activation - devoted to insulting Chris Moyles.
VIZ ISSUE 206, JUNE/JULY 2011

 
 


PASTYBATION PHONE LINES
The hottest phone action. So hot it may burn your mouth.
VIZ ISSUE 205, MAY 2011

 


HOW THE FOREIGN OFFICE WORKS
In a crisis.
VIZ ISSUE 204, APRIL 2011

 
 


QATAR TO HOST ROYAL WEDDING
Concern expressed about heat about winning bid that's 10x that of Westminster Abbey. VIZ ISSUE 203, MARCH 2011

 


PAUL BURRELL: 'I WANT TO BE KATE'S ROCK' Official Diana rock now offering to look after the future Princess.
VIZ ISSUE 203, MARCH 2011

 
 


KIDNAP DIETS AD
Lose weight fast on a Kidnap Diet. Somalia! Kabul! Or the original and best - Beirut!
VIZ ISSUE 202, FEBRUARY 2011

 


BOOK BURNING FESTIVAL AD
Traditional English rural actvities.
VIZ ISSUE 199, OCTOBER 2010

 
 


ROUND BRITAIN COACH TOURS
Specialist Spring breaks.
VIZ ISSUE 199, OCTOBER 2010

 


TRADE UNIONS IN CONGRESS
Hard, fully affiliated, 80's themed sex lines for old style unionists.
VIZ ISSUE 199, OCTOBER 2010

 
 

UNDIGNITAS AD
Are you a celebrity or politician in need of a really tawdry end that forever tarnishes your career achievements?
VIZ ISSUE 197, AUGUST 2010

 


COME TREPANNING IN NORTH WALES
Specialist Spring breaks.
VIZ ISSUE 196, JUNE/JULY 2010

 
 

LEFTIE COMICS TO FLEE UK
'IF TORIES GET IN'
Plus Election Soapbox with PM Gordon Brown.
VIZ ISSUE 194, APR 2010

 


POPE 'WHIPPED HIMSELF' TO REPENT FOR HIS SINS
'John Paul II in outrageous 'bashing the bishop shock.
VIZ ISSUE 192, FEB 2010

 
 

CAMERON 50's TEEN REBEL
''Too much frothy coffee" for the future Tory leader in the 1980's at Eton.
VIZ ISSUE 190, NOV 2009

 

MISSING APPEAL AD
Counselling service for c-listers who refuse to stay out of the public eye.
VIZ ISSUE 187, AUG 2009

 
 


NOW GOOGLE PHOTOS ALL OUR BOTTOMS AND PUTS THEM ONLINE
Outrage as new Google 'Arse-View' could enable terrorists to plant bombs up the PM's rectum.
VIZ ISSUE 185, MAY 2009

 


BE A PLUMBER AD
And meet up to 40,000 women p.a.
VIZ ISSUE 18-phwooaar, APRIL 2009

 
 


GRAVY FOUNTAINS
The latest fad for sophisticated weddings, and for Wayne & Coleen.
VIZ ISSUE 182, FEB 2009

 

BEST OF BRITISH SHITE TOUR
Another paint-by-numbers ad begging to be done. So I knocked it out in a jiffy and posted it up to The Viz.
VIZ ISSUE 178, SEP 2008

 
 

PAUL BURRELL'S PUBIC DIANA COLLECTION. An old idea made better by the Viz team who took pity on me and my 'elements used thereof' explanation & rather decently paid me for it.
VIZ ISSUE 177, AUG 2008

 

SMACKMART
All your drug peripherals under one roof! Includes the BIG 50 metre foil roll. Just off the M89 near Cruxflap.
VIZ ISSUE 174, APRIL 2008

 
 

GOOSESTEP MASTER
The one and only Nazi perambulation device. Get it before its banned.
VIZ ISSUE 174, APRIL 2008

 

TERROR PHONE CHAT
Well dodgy original 'hardcore' fatwat inducing version inspired by Al Qaeda's 'media wing'
VIZ ISSUE 174, APRIL 2008

 
 


BEAR GRYLLS SURVIVAL DREAMS
The survivalist's survival expert tells you how to survive real life tragedy.
VIZ ISSUE 169, OCT 2007

 

BUSMAN'S HOLIDAY
Learn how to drive across Europe one-handed for 17 hours non-stop whilst rolling a joint & balancing a full can of lager in your lap.
VIZ ISSUE 166, JUNE/JULY 2007

 
 


FLU CRUISE
Ahoy there! Virus aboard!
Plus, Ahar there! Scurvy tours!
VIZ ISSUE 168, SEP 2007

 

IF DIANA HAD LIVED... original of how the world would have been if the Princess of Peace had charmed Bin Laden, fixed Palestine, Tsunamis, and stopped Noel Edmonds return to our TV screens. VIZ ISSUE 166, JUNE/JULY 2007

 
 

NO SEXISM PLEASE, WHERE EUROPEAN
Bonkers EU bureaucrats attempt to curtail British traditions of sexism in the workplace.
VIZ ISSUE 165, MAY 2007

 

BIN LADEN'S ECO-FRIENDLY VOW
Original version of Osama's re-packaging as the world's first enviromentally-conscious terrorist.
VIZ ISSUE 165, MAY 2007

 
 


PREMIUM RATE PHONESEX DEBT LINES
Loan fantasies, group loans, spunk it all away... (original full sex version)
VIZ ISSUE 164, APRIL 2007

 


PILOT SHIRTS
Shirts for drunken pilots.
VIZ ISSUE 158, SEP 2006

 
 

PAST LIFE CREDIT? CLAIM NOW!
Fairly obvious variation on a theme paint-by-numbers spoof ad.
VIZ ISSUE 156, JUNE/JULY 2006

 

NEW PETER KAY VIDEO!
Woeful Cash-in Entertainment presents Britain's top comic at someone else's wedding in 1985.
VIZ ISSUE 152, FEBRUARY 2006

 
 

DEATH OF A MILKMAN.
Britain's traditional randy pinta-man is set to become a thing of the past - as doorstep requests from scantily clad housewives for slap 'n' tickle slump to an all-time low.
VIZ ISSUE 150, NOVEMBER 2005

 


PARAPET MADNESS.
A rather obvious spoof of the manic carpet ads.
VIZ ISSUE 150, NOVEMBER 2005

 
 


SOAP STARS TERROR THREAT.
Is Osama bin Laden's sinister hand behind the tragic soap deaths?
VIZ ISSUE 150, NOVEMBER 2005

 


STAIRBATHAMATIC.
Is this the UK's premier walk-in bath stairlift?
VIZ ISSUE 149, OCTOBER 2005

 
 


A CENTURY OF DISASTER THROWS. More from the Dianabury Mint.
VIZ ISSUE 146, JUNE/JULY 2005

 


Start an exciting new hobby - GAMBLING !

VIZ ISSUE 143, MARCH 2005

 
 


DIANA'S TEARS. The Dianabury Mint are proud to present a timeless amulet containing tears so pure they could only have come from The Queen of Hearts herself. VIZ ISSUE 138, SEP 2004

 


SOAP DISH special - comedy legend to make a hilarious cameo in Coronation St.
VIZ ISSUE 136, JUNE/JULY 2004

 
 


Male drivers - don't have a ladies' accidents!
Have a REAL MEN'S one
VIZ ISSUE 135, APRIL 2004

 


LES DENNIS rocks his fans with this latest heartfelt admission...
VIZ ISSUE 134, MARCH 2004

 
 


Advert: Die Mensch... die frauen... die maschine... DAS HARVEST, 1939 Kollectenplatten
VIZ ISSUE 133, FEB 2004

 

Advert: "Keeping prices low by stacking 'em high. Get down to PALLET LAND this winter.
VIZ ISSUE 131, DEC 2003 / JAN 2004

 


Top stars in terror alert: Celebs as wide-ranging as Les Dennis & Bobby Davro voice their fears.
VIZ ISSUE 130, NOV 2003

 

Asylum seeker tabloid exclusive:
VIZ ISSUE 129, OCT '03

 
 

Two years on & six years on: Hands across the ocean - in tragedy. Bandwagon Mint invites you to buy this beautifully packaged Princess Di-9/11 coffee coaster set.
VIZ ISSUE 129, OCT 2003

 

Fancy holding an impromptu meat bingo night, but you're fridge is low on meat? Then simply ring All Night Meat Bingo thru this advert.
VIZ ISSUE 128, SEP 2003

 
 

An exclusive offer from the makers of Man Creche. Get your man out of his office and into the shops - with the Man Pram!
VIZ ISSUE 127, AUG 2003

 

Special travel news for priests caught with their hands in the choir. Get out of the parish fast with the Pederast Shipping Co.
VIZ ISSUE 122, FEB 2003*


 


 

 

*This well dodgy advert also appears in Viz's new Roger Mellie Ad Break Book - OUT ages ago.
 
 
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